Ask a Man 11 Dec '24: 'Financial ties are keeping me in this toxic relationship.'

Anonymous says she’s been married to her partner since 2021, after knowing the guy for a year. Anonymous says when she met him, she was aware of his wild ways in his previous relationship where he cheated multiple times and had children outside of that relationship.  Anonymous says he became even worse in their marriage, where he even cheated on her with her best friend and would bring all kinds of girls to their place, anonymous says he’s fathered 3 children outside their marriage.  Anonymous says she eventually moved to another province so she could fade away from their relationship but her husband packed up and joined her in that province saying he loves her and she assumed he was serious.  Anonymous says he’s continued with his shenanigans but she’s struggling to leave their relationship because she feels like she’s too financially linked to him.

Ask A Man 10 Dec '24: 'Struggling to get over my cheating ex'

Anonymous says he was with his partner for 6 years and they met in varsity. Anonymous says at some point their relationship became a long distance relationship after leaving varsity, and for many years they were living in separate areas.  Anonymous says they were eventually both able to live in the same area, however, things took a turn in their relationship when he realised that his partner had been cheating on him by going on dates with other people.  Anonymous says he broke up with her because cheating is a dealbreaker for him. But months later he’s struggling to get over his love for her. Anonymous says he tried therapy and journaling but the only thing that makes him feel better is chatting to her.

Ask A Man 09 Dec '24: 'My partner wants to start on a clean slate after cheating multiple times.'

Anonymous says he started dating his partner in 2022 and in the same year he found out that she was having an affair and cheating on him. Anonymous says his partner denied this and they moved forward.  Anonymous says in 2023 he once again found out that she was cheating on him and yet again, his partner denied the cheating. Anonymous says she then fell pregnant with his child late last year.  Cut to 2024 and anonymous says he found out once again that she was cheating on him and this time around she finally admitted it and admitted to anonymous that she had been cheating on him all those other times.  Anonymous says she now wants to start on a clean slate, he still loves her but is not sure if he should continue with the relationship.

Ask A Man 06 Dec '24: 'My messy ex wants to get back together.'

Anonymous says she was a dating a guy about 5 years ago and he was cheating on her and the girl he was cheating on her with would harass anonymous, to a point where anonymous got a restraining order against her but the guy said to her that he didn’t want any involvement in the situation. Anonymous says they eventually broke up however she fell pregnant with this guy’s child and says he wasn’t supportive and only came back into anonymous’ life 8 months after the child was born and tried to get back into anonymous’ life, but that didn’t work out.  Fast forward to now, anonymous says she’s now been in a relationship with someone else for 3 years and the father of her child is back in her life again and the same girl is back to harassing anonymous again. Anonymous says the guy wants to be back together with her, and said he’ll support the child only if they are back together.

Ask A Man 05 Dec '24: 'Anonymous lied, I wasn't a serial cheater.'

Background: Yesterday anonymous called and spoke of a guy no.1 and a guy no.2. She said things were not great with guy no.1 because he was always cheating on her. Anonymous then met guy no.2 and dated both of them at the same time but eventually broke up with guy no.1, anonymous said she’s now with guy no.2 and called about their current issues.  This morning we’re speaking to guy no.1 who says he needs to set the record straight: He says he wasn’t a serial cheater and things weren’t great between them because of the financial issues he was facing.  Anonymous also says guy no.2 is someone he knows and used to hangout with.  Guy no.1 says he found out from a friend that anonymous was cheating on him with guy no.2 and he broke up with her.  Guy no.1 says he’s back together with anonymous currently and after calling Ask a Man yesterday, anonymous told guy no.1 that she’s done with guy no.2 and they spent the night together last night. Guy no.1 is not sure what to do in this situation.

Ask A Man 04 Dec '24: 'My partner is insecure and lazy'

Anonymous says she met at guy no.1 early last year, they started dating and moved in together by December of last year.  Anonymous says he cheated on her throughout their relationship and she then started dating someone else, guy no.2. Anonymous says she was juggling the two guys for a bit before breaking up with guy no.1.  Anonymous says she’s now dating guy no.2 but she struggles with him because he’s insecure, unemployed,  and she feels like he’s lazy. Anonymous says he’s policing her and thinks it’s based on the fact that she was dating someone else when they met each other.

Ask A Man - 03 Dec '24: 'My girlfriend thinks I cheated on her.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for two years and they lived together initially but decided to move into their own places at some point in their relationship.  Anonymous says the situation in their relationship right now is that he went out with his girlfriend’s neighbours and on the way back home to his girlfriend’s apartment he ran into his girlfriend’s neighbour and they walked home together.  When they got to the apartment block the girl realised she had the wrong keys and then took shelter with anonymous in his girlfriend’s apartment, and they ended up fetching the keys.  Anonymous says he was at his girlfriend’s place with his cousin, something his girlfriend didn’t want, so when she got back home the next morning she was upset about this.  Anonymous says his partner also later found out that he was in her apartment with her female neighbour and got upset about that. Anonymous says his girlfriend is now angry at him as she believes something happened between them.

Ask A Man 02 Dec '24: 'He shows very little affection and is always out partying.'

Anonymous says she’s known the guy she’s currently dating for many years starting from when they were in varsity.  Anonymous says years later after they started knowing each other they started a no strings attached relationship, however the guy disappeared on her after he got a job.  Anonymous says during their time apart the guy tried to rekindle things with her but she was in a relationship with someone else, which lasted 5 years. When that ended, anonymous reached out to the guy and they started linking up again and eventually got into a more serious relationship.  Anonymous says the guy now lives at her place, and at some point he was unemployed, so she was supporting him. Anonymous adds that she feels like he never shows that he loves her, he never posts her on social media or shows that he’s aware of her needs.  Anonymous says he’s always going out and coming back in the early hours of the morning. She’s not sure if she should remain in the relationship.

Ask A Man 29 Nov '24: 'I have to hide from my partner's "estranged" wife.'

Anonymous says she’s recently widowed and has now started dating again. She says she met a guy in October and they hit it off.  Anonymous says things have been good and he treats her well, however, he revealed to her that he’s actually in a long distance marriage but things are not working out in that marriage because of some issues, including the fact that the guy travels around a lot because of his job.  Anonymous says they’ve continued dating but now the guy sometimes doesn’t want anonymous to come over or leave her things at his place when she’s visiting because he’s worried his wife will find out about their relationship.  Anonymous says she’s not sure if she should continue with this relationship.

Ask A Man 28 Nov '24: 'Sneaky Links and baby mamas.'

Anonymous says she’s been her partner for 4 months and says that she crushed on him for a long time before they started dating.  Anonymous says at the onset of their relationship he would get calls from a mystery lady who he initially said was his sister but it later turned out that it was actually the mother of his child & they his in what he described as a “complicated” relationship with her. Anonymous says they continued with their relationship, however, while they were attending a function inside her partner’s complex he ended up in an altercation with a different lady during the function. Anonymous says he later confessed that the lady used to be a sneaky link and also that he’s actually still in a relationship with the mother of his child.  Anonymous doesn’t know if she should stick with him. 

Ask A Man 27 Nov '24: 'My partner won't forgive me for flirting with another guy.'

Anonymous says she met a guy in March last year and they started dating. She says things were fine until the guy found texts on her phone from another guy who was flirting with her, even though she wasn’t reciprocating.  Anonymous says after this incident things were no longer the same in their relationship and the guy would always bring up the incident. Anonymous maintains that the texts with the other guy were innocent on her part, and she wasn’t doing anything with the other guy.  Anonymous says since January this year, the guy has a habit of disappearing and reappearing in her life. He says he loves her but anonymous is not sure what to think of all of this.

Ask A Man 26 Nov '24: 'Is my partner in the closet?'

Anonymous says her dating life has been a bit of a struggle, however she met a guy 3 months ago who she suspects is gay.  Anonymous says she confronted him about this, she first revealed that she’s been with a girl and asked if he had been with a guy before. Anonymous says her partner told her that he’s only flirted with a guy before, and things didn’t go too far.  Anonymous says he’s also only ever touchy with her when they are in public but doesn’t show the same affection privately. Anonymous says she suspects he’s in the closet and even ended up blocking him for two days because of this. Anonymous says they are communicating again now, but she’s still not sure.

Ask A Man 25 Nov '24: 'She interested only when I have money.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 13 years and a few years ago he started the lobola proceedings but ended up cancelling as his partner was started changing on him because he became unemployed.  Anonymous says when this happened her partner said their child would no longer visit his parents as they are not married. Anonymous says he eventually found employment again and she’s still around but he’s told her that he’s not sure about her anymore because how she’s treated him in the past.  The current conflict in their relationship now is the people anonymous has listed as beneficiaries of his estate ,which is his mother & their child. Anonymous is not sure about this relationship and her behaviour.

Ask A Man 22 Nov '24: 'My partner and I keep going back and fourth.'

Ask A Man 21 Nov '24: 'My boyfriend just told me he has a wife.'

Anonymous says she met her partner about a year ago and says they got into a relationship, which anonymous says is her first relationship ever.  Anonymous says things have been going well in their relationship, however, she says before he could meet her family, he revealed to her that he’s actually married and wants anonymous to become his second wife.  Anonymous says there were no red flags and this confession hit her by complete surprise. Anonymous says their relationship has been amazing and she’s not sure if she wants to continue and become his second wife.  

Ask A Man 20 Nov '24: 'Is he really serious about me or was it all about the money?'

Anonymous says her and her current partner started working on businesses together early on in their relationship and things were generally ok until she realised that he would receive money from their clients and not be transparent with anonymous about the amounts as they were paid into his company.  Anonymous says her job at the time did not allow her to have side hustles, so they did business using his company.  Anonymous says they stayed together at her place because he couldn’t afford to pay for his own place but after the successes in the business he was upgrading his house without even speaking to anonymous about it.  Anonymous says after all this and some issues they had with their children, her partner told anonymous that he was moving back into his place and they would proceed to live in separate homes but remain a couple.  Anonymous says the relationship has faded since then, he’s tried to rekindle things but anonymous says she’s not sure and he’s also burnt bridges with her family through his treatment of her. 

Ask A Man 19 Nov '24: 'I Can't Lose My Ben-6'

Anonymous says she met a guy two weeks ago and they’ve been dating for 4 days. Anonymous says he’s in his early twenties, she’s in her mid-twenties, and things are going really well so far. Anonymous says her business is down the road from where the guy lives and a couple of days ago they got intimate with the guy which led to him arriving home past his curfew. Now his family has found out about their relationship and they are not happy. Anonymous says they now want the guy to move away from the area and she’s not sure what to do. She feels like she really likes him and doesn’t know if she should chat to his family about their relationship. Anonymous is also not sure if this is worth a fight. 

Ask A Man - 18 Nov '24: 'My partner mis-treated me when I was jobless.'

Anonymous says he’s been in a relationship with his partner for about 12 year, they have two children together and his partner came into the relationship with another child.  Anonymous says he lost his job during the pandemic, and got money from his workplace after being removed. Anonymous says he used the money to try and lobola his partner, but he eventually ran out of his savings and wasn’t able to complete the lobola. Anonymous says his partner became verbally abusive and wasn’t treating him right because he was unemployed.   Anonymous says he now has job, and she’s back to treating him right again. Anonymous is thinking of continuing with the lobola process but he’s not sure if he should continue with the relationship with his partner because of how she’s treated him in the past.

Ask A Man 15 Nov '24: 'Have my wife and I ruined our relationship for good?'

Anonymous says he’s been with his partner for 15 years and they’ve been married for 4 years.  Anonymous says his partner is quite fierce and stern and can be very independent within their relationship. Anonymous says one of the issues they are currently going through now is that he’s suspicious of her relationship with another man who’s even called her while they were at home together and caused a rift between them.  Anonymous says his wife is also very submissive when she’s speaking to this guy, but she’s hardly ever like that with him.  Anonymous is not sure what’s going on and doesn’t know if he should hold on to this relationship. 

Ask A Man 14 Nov '24: 'Worried I might return to my toxic ex.'

Anonymous says she was in toxic relationship for 3 years and says there was lots of infidelity amongst other things.  Anonymous says her partner made her very anxious with his antics and for the longest time she would leave him but then go back to him.  Anonymous says she has left him again now and it’s been more than a week of no contact with him but she’s struggling with moving forward and getting over him.  Anonymous is worried she might relapse and find herself going back to him again. Anonymous needs advice on how to let go of a toxic partner.