Ask a Man 28 May '25: 'I'm over living with my girlfriend's family.'

Anonymous met his partner seven years ago and says they moved in together at his partner’s family home, on her request, as he used to live at his work quarters when they met.  He was initially ok with this living arrangement, however, over time he’s felt emasculated by this situation, with people in the community referring to him as “makoti”.  He has spoken to his partner about moving out from her family home and renting somewhere else, but she’s completely against it.  Anonymous also feels bullied in his relationship and adds that his partner doesn’t seem to respect him.

Ask a Man 27 May '25: 'How do I fight for custody without damaging our relationship.'

Anonymous started dating the mother of his child about four years ago and says things were great until he lost his job and was in the process of starting a new business.  He cheated on her in the midst of all of this, she forgave him and said they should move as she felt he cheated because of the area in which he lived. She helped him grow his business and he says things got busy in that business and he neglected her to a point that she broke up with him.  She’s currently not allowing anonymous access to their child, he doesn’t want to go the legal route as he feels that could add to the animosity between them & he feels like he owes her a lot for helping him.

Ask a Man 26 May '25: 'I prefer my husband more as a friend.'

Anonymous met her current partner back in 2014 and their relationship was completely platonic in the beginning but they eventually started dating and now they are married.  Her problem is that their relationship is not great as a couple because he just doesn’t meet the standards of what she wants in a partner.  Anonymous feels like he’s a better friend than partner to her, she wants to break it off without ending their friendship.

Ask a Man 23 May '25: 'He's great but has erectile dysfunction.'

Anonymous dated a man ten years ago and he was a great partner but things didn’t workout because he was struggling to get it up in the bedroom and he was an over drinker.  It’s been about eight years now and the man has returned into her life and she has decided to give him another chance. Things are going well so far however the problems in the bedroom remain.  They haven’t had a conversation regarding his erection issues, and he has now shared with anonymous that he is HIV positive.

Ask a Man 22 May '25: 'My partner is struggling to forgive me.'

Ask a Man 21 May '25: 'Why can't I seem to keep a relationship?'

Anonymous says he was in a long term relationship which ended about 3 years ago, he says they tried to make their relationship work a couple of times but it didn’t work out.  Anonymous says he has since been in two other relationships and one of those partners ended things with him saying he isn’t man enough, while the second most recent relationship ended because the partner said he doesn’t have enough money.  Anonymous says he feels like he keeps trying in relationships but wonders why he hasn’t had much luck so far. He adds that he’d like to start building a family.

Ask a Man 20 May '25: 'I think my man hates me.'

Anonymous has been with her partner for 11 years, she came into the relationship with one child and they have two children together. Her partner has paid half the lobola.  Anonymous says there’s a lot of negativity happening in their relationship and in a recent incident her partner did not come back home as he was upset with her for “blue-ticking” him.  Anonymous says she was shocked by his reasoning for disappearing and they fought about this, which led to her partner throwing her phone in the toilet and anonymous taking his phone and hiding it.  Anonymous says she went through his phone and found messages between her partner and his sister, in which anonymous says her partner was saying nasty things about her. 

Ask a Man 19 May '25: 'Worried about my partner's sexuality.'

Anonymous says it was love at first sight when he met his partner three months ago. Anonymous says he’s met her family and adds that she’s great with his daughter as well.  Anonymous says when they met, she revealed to him that she had just come out of a 7-year lesbian relationship. Anonymous says she has also told him that she’d like to have a threesome with anonymous and another woman, something anonymous says he’s not interested in doing. Anonymous says they are now in talks to start with lobola proceedings, however, anonymous says his partner is still friends with her female ex. Anonymous’ partner says he has nothing to worry about as they are just friends. Anonymous is taken aback by this because his partner might still be into her ex. 

Ask a Man 16 May '25: 'Is my partner having an affair with his colleague?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner since 2016 and they had a child after a year of being together. Anonymous says they only started living together recently.  Anonymous says things have gotten tense in their relationship because he started getting what anonymous thinks were suspicious messages from a colleague and when he confronted him about those texts, he claimed they were business related.  Anonymous says things are now tense as her partner is denying the cheating. Anonymous is not sure if she’s the one blowing things out proportion.

Ask a Man 15 May '25: 'My partner took the lobola money.'

Anonymous says he’s been dating the mother of his child for 10 years now and he’s looking to get married to her, but he’s not quite sure based on her behaviour.  Anonymous says they fight a lot and says she keeps bringing up past fights. Anonymous says he wanted to start the lobola process last year but she said to him that she’s not ready to get married and instead kept the money that was meant for her lobola.  Anonymous says when he asks about this money she gets upset so he feels like he can’t bring up anymore.

Ask a Man 14 May '25: 'How do I let go of my wife's cheating after I cheated on her?'

Anonymous says he’s been with his wife for 14 years and they have two children together. Anonymous says their relationship was fine until he cheated on his wife on two separate occasions. Anonymous says she forgave him both times and they were able to move on.  Anonymous says time went by and then his wife started cheating on him. Anonymous says he was able to move on with the relationship after finding out about his wife’s cheating. Anonymous says even though they are still together, he’s struggling to forget about about his wife’s cheating and says he can’t see her in the same way anymore.  Anonymous says another issue is that his wife has become quite flashy, and says this started around the second time he cheated on her and at the time he was making more money.

Ask a Man 13 May '25: '

Ask a Man 12 May '25: 'How should I break-up with the toxic mother of my child.'

Anonymous says he’s currently dating two ladies, he’s known lady no.1 since 2014 and they have a child together. Anonymous says their relationship was fine until 2019 when she started drinking a lot and it was causing problems in their relationship.  Anonymous says he met another lady, lady no.2, in 2023 and they’ve been together since, even though he’s still with the mother of his child. Anonymous says when he met lady no.2 she was still married to someone else but got divorced and anonymous say his affair with lady no.2 was stated as the reason for lady no.2’s divorce.

Ask a Man 09 May '25: '

Ask a Man 08 May '25: 'Should I tell my partner he might not be the father?.

Anonymous says she’s in her late twenties and she’s been in a relationship with her partner for about four years but it’s been messy because her partner cheated on her a few times and she forgave him.  Anonymous says she then met another guy while in a relationship with her partner and decided to have an affair with this guy, in retaliation to her partner’s infidelities.  Anonymous says she’s now pregnant but she’s not sure who the father of the child is. Anonymous says her side piece is aware that it’s possible that he’s not the father but her partner has no idea and he’s just happy to build a family with her.  Anonymous is not sure how to move forward.

Ask a Man 07 May '25: 'Can I trust my ex again.'

Anonymous says he’s been with his girlfriend since 2020 and they have two year-old child together.  Anonymous says at some point he lost his job and this when his partner’s behaviour changed. Anonymous says one of the problems he’s found is that his girlfriend has been having relations with other guys while they’ve been together.  Anonymous says he’s now working again and he’s even thinking of marrying his girlfriend but he’s struggling to trust her and is not sure if she can be the right wife for him. 

Ask a Man 06 May '25: 'My partner is always on and off.'

Anonymous says he’s been in an on and off situation with his partner for a while now. Anonymous says she cheated on him early on in their relationship but he ended up forgiving her and even considered getting married to her.  Anonymous says they then ran into some trouble when they tried to conceive a child and even lost a baby, but anonymous says during that grieving period he found out that she cheated on him with the same guy again. Anonymous says they eventually broke up.  Anonymous says despite them breaking things off he’s struggling to let it go and she keeps coming back into his life. Anonymous says she’s to always come back into his life when he’s busy with someone else, but then disappears when he starts giving her attention again.

Ask a Man 05 May '25: 'Should I support my ex wife's child.'

Anonymous says when he met his current wife 9 years ago, she had a 1 year-old child. Anonymous says since then he has raised this child as his own.  Anonymous says they are currently separated after he found out that his wife was flirting with a colleague. Anonymous says they are now officially separated however he feels like he shouldn’t be the one to financially support the child as he’s no longer in a relationship with the mother.  Anonymous says they do have one other child together, and he’s only willing to support this child, as the other child has their own father and his estranged wife now has another partner. Anonymous is wondering if he’s taking the right approach to the situation.

Ask a Man 02 May '25: 'Will we never heal from the infidelity in our relationship?'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for two years, and her current relationship overlapped with her previous relationship.  Anonymous says early in their relationship her partner found out that she was still dating her ex partner. Anonymous says they fought about this and she finally broke up with her ex. Anonymous says their relationship continued but her partner also cheated on her, and said she did it because she struggled to get over the fact that anonymous had cheated.  Anonymous says her partner has struggled to get over the initial cheating and they keep fighting about it. Anonymous says her partner broke up with her yesterday and she’s not sure if she should fight for her. 

Ask a Man 30 April '25: 'My daughter is bewitching my current wife.'

Anonymous says she’s been with her partner for just over a year now and they have a 14-year age gap between them.  Anonymous says they’ve been speaking about their future and it looks like they could get married but her partner already has 3 children from his previous 3 relationships and he doesn’t seem keen to have more children.  Anonymous says she wants to be with him and build a future with him, but feels like even if he were to have a child with her, he would be doing it reluctantly.