Ask A Man 20 June

Ask A Man 19 June

Ask a Man 18 June '25: 'I'm having an affair with my ex's new girlfriend.

Anonymous is in her late twenties and is a mother of an 18 month old baby. She was with the father of her child for about three years but the relationship was toxic and after she gave birth she broke up with her partner and moved out of his family home.  Months after the break up she went back to the house to fetch her things, and this is when she met her ex’s new girlfriend. The new girlfriend then offered to support her child.  They continued to chill and the new girlfriend then kissed anonymous and they ended up having sex.  She’s now confused by her relationship with the new girlfriend, who’s supporting her child, however she’s worried about their relationship being transactional.

Ask a Man 17 June '25: 'My partner feels suffocated by our commitment.'

Anonymous and her partner have been together for two years now and during that they moved in together and built a house together.  A couple of months after they bought the house, her partner started behaving differently, going out more and having fun with friends. Anonymous addressed his changed behaviour, he agreed to spend more time at home but it’s been going on for months now.  Her partner disappeared over the long weekend which caused a rift between them once again. Her partner has now told her that he still wants to have fun and doesn’t want to live like an old married couple.  Anonymous is not sure how to interpret this.

Ask a Man 13 June '25: 'My partner is not improving sexually.'

Anonymous has been with her partner since 2017 and they got married in 2019, she adds that he was a virgin when they met in their late twenties.  Her problem is in the bedroom as he struggles to pleasure her and when she tries to find out what he likes, he’s not sure.  Anonymous has tried many different things to get them on the same page sexually, but their sex life has not been improving.

Ask a Man 12 June '25: 'Caught between a toxic relationship and two married men.'

Anonymous has been with her partner, guy no.1, for about 4 years now and things were fine until he lost his job and it created a burden on their relationship.  She started noticing things about his treatment of her, realising that he often body shames her and is always speaking down to her.  She has now started dating other people: guy no.2, who’s married and has said he doesn’t mind marrying anonymous as a second wife, and guy no.3, who she’s also having a good time with currently but is not sure if it’s just vibes or something more serious.

Ask a Man 11 June '25: 'Why do we struggle to communicate in the right tone?'

Anonymous and her fiancé have been in a relationship for over a decade now and live together with two of their children, including her child, from a previous relationship, and a child they have together. Her fiancé also had a child with someone else while they already in a relationship.  Her problem is how her partner sometimes speaks to her, she feels that he can be very insensitive & harsh towards her. They have also cheated on each other in the past and that keeps coming up in their arguments.  Anonymous her partner basically struggle when it comes to communication.

Ask a Man 10 June '25: 'Did I end break-up with my cheating ex prematurely?'

Anonymous broke up with his partner a few months ago, after five years together, because she cheated on him with a guy she had a history with.  He feels as though things became problematic in their relationship after he lost his job and couldn’t provide for them anymore.  Some time has gone by since the break-up and he’s wondering if he let go of the relationship too easily, he doesn’t want to rekindle the relationship, but he lost so much of himself in it and he is struggling to move forward.

Ask a Man 09 June '25: 'Struggling with accepting my cheating partner's other child'

Anonymous broke up with the father of her child 5 years ago after he cheated on her and impregnated another woman.  He didn’t support their child after their break-up, and only started doing so after their child turned three. He’s now back in their lives and wants to get back together with anonymous after the lady he cheated on her with cheated on him.  Anonymous is open to officially getting back together with him but her biggest struggle with this is accepting the child he had with the other woman, and that woman’s accessibility to him as the mother of his other child.

Ask a Man 06 June '25: 'Does my partner still have a thing with his ex?'

Anonymous met her partner in January this year and says their relationship has been great, he ticks all the boxes and she feels quite comfortable being herself around him.  This past weekend while they were at gathering with friends, she caught him on a video call with another lady who was complaining that he doesn’t make time for her anymore.  Anonymous’ partner says it’s someone he dated before who’s struggling to let him go, their relationship faded but they are still in communication.

Ask a Man 05 June '25: 'Has the distance killed my relationship?'

Anonymous has been with his partner for the last 6 years, a year ago she moved overseas for a new job and to further her studies.  He says communication between them was great at the start of her period away, but over the last six months the communication has not been as regular as it used to be, mostly because she keeps claiming that she’s too tired to chat.  She’ll be coming back soon, but anonymous is worried that she might come back a changed woman, as she’ll also be earning way more than him. He’s anticipating the worst and doesn’t know what to do. 

Ask a Man 04 June '25: 'Can I become serious with a much younger man?'

Anonymous is in her early 40s and is a mother of three.  She’s in the dating market and says she tends to attract much younger men, and thinks it’s because of her younger looking appearance.  The younger men sexually fulfil her more than the older men that she’s dated, and while this is great for her sexual appetite, she wants to get into a more serious relationship and feels like the younger guys are more about fun and not building a solid relationship.  Anonymous also wants to be with someone her teenage children can respect.

Ask a Man 03 June '25: 'My partner didn't help me financially but he's now reliant on me.'

Anonymous and her husband met in 2016 and got married in 2022.  She stopped working at some point and started her own business. A couple of years later her partner, who’s much older, was retrenched due to the Covid pandemic, she suggested different things for him to try including helping in the business, but he hasn’t done much since.  Her husband got a large payout after he lost his job and when anonymous requested that he invest in her business he didn’t. He has now run out of money leaving her as the sole provider for their home.  Anonymous is frustrated by his behaviour and feels like he hasn’t been a supportive partner.  

Ask a Man 02 June '25: 'Is my husband cheating on me with his female friend?'

Anonymous has been married to her partner for about 10 years now and they have two children together.  She travels often in her job and back in 2018 ,when she got back from a work trip, she noticed suspicious messages on her partner’s phone with another woman, but she didn’t want to read too much into it and ignored this.  This behaviour continued and upon her return from another work trip, the female friend texted and asked her husband to greet her mother-in-law, and on one occasion when anonymous fell pregnant the friend texted anonymous’ husband saying the pregnancy is a mistake.  She has confronted her husband about this but he keeps telling her that they are just friends.

Ask a Man 30 May '25: 'Paternity questions.'

Anonymous started dating his partner back in 2017 after they’d known each other for a few years.  They have a child together with his partner, however, he doubts that he’s the father of this child. The situation is a bit familiar for anonymous as he has his suspicions that his parents might not be his biological family.  This background has made it difficult for anonymous to deal with the questions he has around the paternity of the child he knows as his son.

Ask a Man 29 May '25: 'Is my new partner too good to be true?'

Anonymous is in her early 40s and she was married for 18 years before separating from her husband three years ago. She says came out of the marriage with very little and has spent the last few years rebuilding her life.  She met a man who’s in his late twenties within the last year and months after they started dating he proposed and they are now engaged.  They have been together for a year now and their relationship is going strong but she keeps feeling like it’s too good to be true.  Anonymous adds that her partner knows about her one child but she hasn’t told him about her other son as that son is only 4 years younger than his partner. 

Ask a Man 28 May '25: 'I'm over living with my girlfriend's family.'

Anonymous met his partner seven years ago and says they moved in together at his partner’s family home, on her request, as he used to live at his work quarters when they met.  He was initially ok with this living arrangement, however, over time he’s felt emasculated by this situation, with people in the community referring to him as “makoti”.  He has spoken to his partner about moving out from her family home and renting somewhere else, but she’s completely against it.  Anonymous also feels bullied in his relationship and adds that his partner doesn’t seem to respect him.

Ask a Man 27 May '25: 'How do I fight for custody without damaging our relationship.'

Anonymous started dating the mother of his child about four years ago and says things were great until he lost his job and was in the process of starting a new business.  He cheated on her in the midst of all of this, she forgave him and said they should move as she felt he cheated because of the area in which he lived. She helped him grow his business and he says things got busy in that business and he neglected her to a point that she broke up with him.  She’s currently not allowing anonymous access to their child, he doesn’t want to go the legal route as he feels that could add to the animosity between them & he feels like he owes her a lot for helping him.

Ask a Man 26 May '25: 'I prefer my husband more as a friend.'

Anonymous met her current partner back in 2014 and their relationship was completely platonic in the beginning but they eventually started dating and now they are married.  Her problem is that their relationship is not great as a couple because he just doesn’t meet the standards of what she wants in a partner.  Anonymous feels like he’s a better friend than partner to her, she wants to break it off without ending their friendship.

Ask a Man 23 May '25: 'He's great but has erectile dysfunction.'

Anonymous dated a man ten years ago and he was a great partner but things didn’t workout because he was struggling to get it up in the bedroom and he was an over drinker.  It’s been about eight years now and the man has returned into her life and she has decided to give him another chance. Things are going well so far however the problems in the bedroom remain.  They haven’t had a conversation regarding his erection issues, and he has now shared with anonymous that he is HIV positive.