Ask A Man 21 Sep '26: 'Why did she move on so quickly?'

Anonymous says when he met lady no.1 she was married, they dated despite this fact and she actually fell pregnant early in their relationship and anonymous says it’s his kid.  Things got sour between him and lady no.1 after she claimed to be moving to another country for work.  He then met lady no.2, who he initially didn’t tell about his child with the ex but has now confessed to that….

Ask A Man: GBV Roundtable

This morning, Ask a Man sounds a little different. We usually turn to our panel for honest conversations about love, relationships and the questions that sometimes leave us confused. But with gender-based violence gripping the nation, this is not a moment for business as usual. We call on you the Ask a Man community, we want to have a necessary and uncomfortable conversation; not to speak on behalf of women, or alienate men, but to examine what we can all do to bring an end to gender-based violence. What attitudes and behaviours are we allowing to continue in our homes, friendships and communities? How do men hold one another accountable before harmful behaviour escalates into violence? And how do we raise boys who understand consent, respect and equality? Today, the men of Ask a Man move from giving relationship advice to confronting a national crisis that demands honesty, accountability and action from all of us.

Ask A Man 17 Sep '26: 'I Love her but she's busy with other people'

Ask A Man 16 Sep '26: 'Am I putting too much financial pressure on him?'

Anonymous has been with her partner for over a year now. They both had jobs when they met but she got a different job in another region and had to move. He quit from his job about since months after she moved and this didn’t really affect their relationship. However, she’s now back in the same area as him and it’s really highlighting the financial gap between them. A part of her blames him for not having a plan before leaving his other job and she now feels like he’s not thing hard enough. The financial strain has really impacted her but she doesn’t know how to deal with this without pressuring him.

Ask A Man 15 Sep '26: 'What went wrong after I moved away?'

Anonymous has been in a relationship with his partner for about two years now. They had a child a few months into their relationship, however, he lost his job at around the same time and had to move to another province for a new job.  He says things soured in their relationship after he moved and she hasn’t been the same since. He feels like he’s forcing things, and he’s the only one making an effort. When he brings up how he feels to her, she tends to blame him for moving to another region. He also says they don’t get intimate anymore in their relationship, and that’s also affecting him.

Ask A Man 14 Sep '26: 'Scared of revealing my romantic relationship with my pastor.'

Anonymous is 36 dating a man who’s 63. She has a ten year-old child and he has three children, the oldest daughter is the same age as anonymous. She’ll be meeting her partner’s daughter, who’s her age mate, soon and is feeling uneasy about meeting her. She adds that he’s a pastor at his church and she’s worried about how the congregation will react. 

Ask A Man 11 Sep '26: 'I feel lonely in my relationship.'

Anonymous has been with her partner for about 6 years now, they have two children together and they are in a long distance relationship.  She feels like he’s a bad communicator, they can go days without him calling her and he seems to be ok with that. She adds that even when they do talk he never talks about himself or what he’s going through in his life.  She’s feeling lonely in her relationship and doesn’t know how to deal with that. 

Ask A Man 10 Sep '26: 'Over my toxic marriage, but struggling to leave.'

Anonymous says her marriage is toxic, she’s had enough of her husband’s antics and knows that she should end her marriage, but she’s struggling to actually leave.  She says they have the public picture of the perfect marriage and that’s something that’s keeping her in the marriage.  Another reason is because, despite knowing that he’ll never change, she continues to carry the hope that he’ll maybe change one day.  She’s also struggling with idea of being single, as she doesn’t know how she’d be able to do this life thing without a partner. 

Ask A Man 09 Sep '26: 'Broke up over threesomes?'

Anonymous met a guy back in 2023 and got into a relationship with him despite recognising that he’s a bit of player.  At some point she found out that he was cheating on her with multiple women, but continued with the relationship believing that they are meant to be with each other.  She fell pregnant and around this time found out that he was treating an STI that he didn’t tell her about it.  There’s  also a specific lady who is her man’s sugar mama…

Ask A Man 08 Sep '26: 'We struggle to talk about money'

Anonymous has been with her now husband shortly after matriculating. They got married a couple of years after meeting and they have two children together.  The problem in their relationship is finances. She says they don’t communicate properly when it comes to finances in their relationship and he only brings her in when he’s facing trouble financially. She adds that at some point in their relationship he seemed to have a problem with gambling.  Their relationship is now strained and they don’t even talk anymore. She’s taking care of their home and he only contributes every now and then. 

Ask A Man 07 Sep '26: 'I hate my ex and it's holding me back.'

Anonymous was with her ex-partner of many years and they have a child together.  She ended things with him after realising that he was cheating on her with another lady who he impregnated. She’s struggling to let go of the resentment she feels for him and she feels it’s keeping her from moving forward. 

Ask A Man 04 Sep '26: 'Has she given up on us?'

Anonymous has been with his partner for about four years and says the first three years were easy going and the relationship was going well.  However, in the last year things have gone cold in their relationship, and he says they fight a lot more and she doesn’t give him much attention or share her thoughts and feelings with him.  As a result of the situation in their relationship, he started chatting to other girls for companionship. His partner found out about these chats and she now wants to end things with him.

Ask A Man 03 Sep '26: 'I'm tired of sponsoring her life.'

Anonymous met a lady over a year ago, they hit off, and started dating.  Months into the relationship he realised that she wasn’t really doing anything career wise, at which point he assisted her in finding a job but she said to him she wasn’t ready to work but would be good to go in 2026.  Since the start of 2026 she hasn’t really looked or shown any interested in finding a job which frustrates him because he has to shoulder the financial burden in the relationship. She’s mentioned to him that she’s not looking because she’s not well educated. However, he’s not happy with this situation. 

Ask A Man 02 Sep '26: 'My husband is playing happy families with his side and our children.'

Anonymous has been married to her husband for twelve years and they’ve been together for about twenty years.  They have two children together and her husband secretly fathered another child about five years ago with a woman he’s been with for about 8 years on the side.  She found out about the child three years ago and they were able to move forward with their relationship. She’s over it now, as her husband is “playing happy families” with their children and the other child and the other woman.

Ask A Man 01 Sept '26: 'We finally made things official but it's not going well.'

Anonymous met a guy back in 2024 while she was going through a divorce and they had a casual relationship which remained non-sexual until after her divorce was finalised.  They continued with their friends with benefits situation until they both realised they had caught feelings and wanted something more serious with each other.  They are now in a committed relationship, however, she feels like he’s not a good communicator, which is also a trigger for her because of an incident that happened in her past, that has left her needed constant communication. 

Ask a Man 28 August '26: 'The father of my child says I'm too much'

Anonymous recently had a baby with her partner of four years and they’ve now broken up after she felt like he wasn’t taking care of her after giving birth to their child.  He has suggested that they continue to live with each other and raise the child together but she’s confused by that offer and doesn’t know what to do.  She adds that she doesn’t want to be a single parent.

Ask A Man 27 Aug '26: 'My partner's father is a bad influence.'

Anonymous met a guy in October 2021, they dated for 19 days before they got engaged.  Just as the lobola proceedings were about to begin she fell pregnant so they put a pause on their marriage.  The guy started cheating on her months into the relationship and says the behaviour also coincided with him reconnecting with his long-lost father who seemed to encourage his drinking and infidelity.  They managed to work through this but he is now having an affair with another lady…

Ask A Man 26 Aug '26: 'Should I accept lobola in Rands or Dollars?'

Anonymous is asking whether she should accept lobola in rands or in dollars… She started dating guy no.1 two years after the end of her 25 year marriage. Things were going well with guy no.1 and they had solid future plans until she realised that he was cheating on her and things were not going well.  She recently met guy no.2 online and he lives overseas. She says things are going well in that 6 month relationship and he even wants to marry her with his Dollars.  However, guy no.1 wants to get serious with her and also wants to marry anonymous with his Rands.

Ask A Man 25 Aug '26

Anonymous is calling on behalf of her friend, who has been in a toxic relationship for many years now and has children with her partner.  This has been going on for many years and as friends they’ve been trying to support her but it’s become a lot and the children are also voicing how the abuse in the house has become too much.  Her parter has expressed that she really would love to leave this relationship but doesn’t know how to go about doing that.

Ask A Man 24 Aug '26: 'Has really changed from her cheating ways?'

Anonymous and his partner started dating in 2018 and broke up in 2022. They then got back together in 2023 and have been together ever since.  He recently found out that she had been having an affair with another man, after the same men told him and shared explicit pictures and videos as evidence of the affair.  He confronted her about it, she apologised and said that she was done with the guy and was willing to tell anonymous anything he wants to know about the affair, which allowed them to move forward with their relationship.  However, anonymous is struggling to move forward as he reflects on the extent of this betrayal…